Change Your Shoes and Climb the Mountain

I love hiking. It is a funny thing because I am also terrified of heights. The kind of fear that makes it difficult for me to get close to the railing on the patio of my third-floor apartment or go to the second-floor in the mall without feeling like I’m going to fall to my death. Yes, it is an irrational fear, but we all have at least one, right? I try not to let it stop me from exploring new trails.

While visiting Kenya, the group I traveled with explored the Kakamega Rainforest in Western Kenya. This exploration included a hike up one of the mountains. We were in the middle of a rainforest, so the last thing I wanted to do was stay behind on my own. So, I took a deep breath and followed the group closely. With every step I took, my heart beat faster and faster. I was low-key having a panic attack, but I didn't want anyone to see me freaking out. I looked around me, and the higher we went, the more apparent the possibility of rolling back down became. Suddenly, it began to get steep, the wind was blowing, and all I wanted to do was turn around and safely make it back to level ground, but somehow I made it to the top.

I sit down on the closest rock to catch my breath. I couldn’t bring myself to look out because my hands were trembling, my heart was beating fast, my palms were sweating, and my head was down. I was overcome with fear. My head was spinning. Then, without warning, loud, heart-wrenching thunder crashes all around us. It startled me so that my head jerked back. I looked up at the sky, and raindrops began to fall. Large, cold raindrops and I finally set my gaze on the horizon. I could see for miles. There were mountains and trees, but the most beautiful sight was the setting of the sun. I’ve never seen anything like it. It was stunning; momentarily, I forgot how high up I was.

I forgot that I was afraid. I just leaned into what God was showing me. When it was time to climb back down, I asked myself how many things I had not done, had given up on, had I let die because I was too afraid to trust God was able to show me something breathtaking. It is easy to trust God when we aren’t scared and when things are going well, but facing our demons can be challenging, and the finish line seems to be moving farther and farther away. How do we keep going?

WE DON’T CHANGE THE DREAM BECAUSE WE’RE FACING A MOUNTAIN.

Let’s consider the second time we see Hagar in Genesis. Abraham just came to her and told her she must leave his home. Not only does she have to go, but he gives her limited resources because Sarah doesn’t want Isaac to share his inheritance with Hagar’s son, Ishmael. Abraham is frustrated by Sarah’s request, but God instructs him to do as Sarah asks. He takes some bread, fills a flask with water, and sends Hagar on her way with Ishmael tied to her back (Genesis 21:10-14). I imagine Hagar would have cried out to God at the realization that she was being cast out with her son with very little to provide for him, but the Bible doesn’t record this. Hagar walks through the desert until the water she was given runs out. When it does, she sets Ishmael down and walks away from him, unable to watch him die and, simultaneously, turning her back on the promise God gave her earlier in Genesis 16.

What have you abandoned in your life that God is still working on?

If Hagar had known that God was ultimately responsible for Abraham sending her into the wilderness, and if God had again promised Abraham that Ishmael would be great, I can almost bet that she would have picked up her son, put him on her back, and kept walking. Instead, we are told that she set Ishmael down and wept. At this moment, Hagar is most likely overwhelmed by fear, and she is probably exhausted. We can all relate to this. I know I can.

On more than one occasion, I have allowed my emotions to dictate my actions instead of accepting and affirming how I felt in order to move towards a more productive way of reasoning. Sometimes, we walk through a desert period for so long that it becomes difficult to see life. It becomes difficult to see the light. We take our dreams and set them down, promising to come back to them or convincing ourselves that it must not be what God wants because it hasn't happened yet.

We have walked away, and we’re waiting for the dream to die so we don’t have to deal with it anymore. We’re waiting for it to leave our minds and our hearts because it’s easier to be comfortable with not waiting and not working than it is to work and not know. We experienced writer’s block for a week, so we quit writing. We gain a couple of pounds and stop going to the gym. It looks dead, so what’s the point of praying over it? It seems like the end, so what’s the point of working towards it or continuing to believe it? 

WE HAVE TO KEEP WORKING. WE HAVE TO KEEP BELIEVING.

It is difficult. Faith is difficult. It can be hard to keep going when our efforts don’t seem to be producing any return. We have to learn how to keep walking until we run into God. Many times, there is a plan that we can’t see. However, not being able to see it doesn’t change the fact that God is working on it. That’s what faith is. Faith says, “I don’t know how this place will get me to the next place that gets me to what God promised me, but I’m going to keep going anyway.” We’re all afraid and unsure. We all make mistakes, but what separates us and sets us up for success is we keep going.

WE ALL GET TIRED. SHOW UP ONE MORE TIME.

Hagar was ready to give up. She was there sitting in her feelings until God called out. Then, she gets up, picks up her child, and obeys God’s voice; God brings her water. Hagar was ready to give up, and God met her again! Because when there is purpose in your life, there is nothing you can do to separate yourself from it. Even when you refuse to praise, even when you refuse to worship, even when you refuse to cry out to God and sit quietly waiting for the season to change—God shows up.

In these moments, it is easy to begin to prioritize the other voices in our lives. We take advice from our friends, significant others, and parents. However, the two most significant voices should be God’s and our own. We have to move when God says move. Imagine if you decided every day to show up one more time despite your situation and how you were feeling. God only needs one opportunity to reset your life. There is no pain or frustration God cannot and will not use to get you where you are meant to be.

You are reading this and thinking, I've made so many mistakes. Hell, me too! Every single day. It doesn't matter. God needs a yes. You don't have to mirror yourself after an ideal way of being to get God's attention. God will use what you have and never stop returning for you. No matter how often you find yourself in the wilderness, fall short of the standards pushed on you every day, or make the same mistakes—God will come back for you until you get it right. So, if you face a mountain, don't let it turn you around.

Take a deep breath, remember who you are, and start climbing.