Embracing the Journey and Finding Joy: A Message to Working Moms of Children with Autism
I'm writing this not just as a mother, but as a companion on a journey that is both challenging and uniquely beautiful. As working moms, we juggle an intricate dance of responsibilities, and when you add the unique joys and trials of raising a child with autism, the dance becomes more complex.
To the mom who managed to prepare a work presentation with her child's favorite song on repeat in the background, I see you. To the mom who feels guilty for checking her emails while at the playground or sitting outside of the speech therapy session, I understand you. To the mom who completed an IEP meeting and immediately signed on to lead a meeting for work, I feel your rapidly beating heart. Our paths are paved with constant switches between the role of a career woman and a caregiver, each demanding our full attention.
Some days, we feel like superheroes, handling every meltdown and meeting with grace. Other days, it's a win if everyone is fed and the day ends without tears (in fact, there are more days with tears than I can count). In this chaotic balance of work and motherhood, know that you're not alone in feeling overwhelmed or questioning if you're doing enough.
I personally tire of hearing people tell me how strong I am. It's not how I would choose to identify myself because I'm not strong. I am persistent. I am determined. I am relentless when it comes to showing up for myself and advocating for my kid, but I am fragile. I lament the idea that anyone would see me as strong and unworthy of support, care, and kindness. If you've ever felt this way, I hope you can feel me when I say I believe this journey we're on is not for the strong. This journey is for those of us who understand that true strength lies in our vulnerability, in our capacity to seek help, and in the recognition that we need a community. It’s for those of us who, despite feeling fragile, rise each morning to face a world that may not fully understand the challenges we navigate daily.
This journey is for the silent warriors who fight battles no one sees; it’s for the quiet moments in the night when we recharge, often not with sleep, but with the resolve to keep going because someone we love needs us. It’s for the parents who find depth in their patience they never knew existed, who learn languages not spoken but felt, who advocate with a ferocity born of necessity and love.
It is for us, the ones who might tremble under the weight of our responsibilities yet push forward, one decision at a time, towards a world of acceptance and understanding. Our journey is one of endurance, hope, and unwavering love – a love that does not require the might of the invincible but thrives on the spirit of the steadfast.
The beauty is in the small victories and the silent acknowledgments. It's in the understanding nods from other mothers in the therapy waiting room, the patient smiles from understanding colleagues, and the tight hugs from your little one that seem to say, "I know you're trying your best."
Remember, in the world of parenting a child with autism or other support needs, progress may not always be measured in milestones met or traditional achievements. It's found in the patience you cultivate, the small breakthroughs, and the unique way your child sees the world.
I want to reassure you that it's okay to ask for help, to take time for yourself, and to admit that some days, the balance tips. It's okay to feel like you're not getting it right all the time. Because the truth is, no one does. The beauty of our children is that they don't need perfection; they need our presence, love, and support, which you give abundantly, even on the tough days.
To the working mom who feels like she's failing at both her job and motherhood, you're not failing—you're doing double duty in the most demanding roles in life, and you're doing wonderfully. Your work ethic sets an incredible example for your child, and your love for them doesn't go unnoticed. Your persistence is your superpower. Your determination is your map. Your relentlessness is the wind at your back, propelling you forward. We are not strong in the way the world demands with muscle and might, but with the kind of strength that matters most: the strength of the heart.
And in those moments when you feel you can’t take another step, remember you are surrounded by a legion of us, all moving forward with you, shoulder to shoulder, ready to uphold you with support, care, and kindness. We are not strong alone – we are strong together. Don't be afraid to join a group, start a conversation with a mom you pass at therapy, or to share your story on social. You'll be surprised how many working parents can relate.
Let's promise to be kind to ourselves, to celebrate the small wins, and to recognize that our best is more than enough. Our children may not travel the path we envisioned, but they are on a beautiful, unique journey—with us by their side.
In solidarity and with all my admiration,
Natalia aka Miko's Mommy